Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Black Hole

I can think of few things better than tacky roadside Native American portraits that are sold between the wolf airbrush paintings and the freaky looking dolls. I was scanning the net for said portraits the other night and found this particularly choice delicacy:

I love everything about it, especially the penetrating "White men suck" eyes set into a shallow pan of wrinkles, the incorporated raven headdress, and the Raider Nation makeup. The makeup really makes this picture sing. If this Indian met a Sith Lord and walked a trail o' tears to Oakland, he'd probably end up looking like some sort of hybrid:

Which got me thinking: there's nothing more disgusting than an Oakland Raiders fan.

Don't worry, she's only had 2 1/2 Bud Lights at this game. (But it's fitting...every true Raiders fan probably have some mild form of F.A.S. imparted by their equally mentally stupefied parentals). I figure there are three types of diehards who follow the Raiders, even with a record as shaming as theirs:

1) People who never got enough of Gene Simmons

2) People with mild F.A.S.

3) People who buy roadside Native American art

Sorry, Jessica Alba, I know you're such a fan, but you hate Kiss and I'm pretty sure you're too rich to know what a roadside stand looks like.

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