Novada

I just saw the title "Brothels in Nevada Ask to Be Taxed" on the front page of the New York Times and almost lost my pineapple upside-down cake. Apparently George Flint, the director of the NBA (National Brothel Association...lolskies) wants to provide a safety net for the industry floundering in a Red State filled with intact hymens by bribing Nevada with money that will eventually support a penal system devoted to keeping O.J. Simpson's 61 year old simper behind bars for the next double lifetime.

Flint: "Let me give you free cash money."

The State of Nevada: "No thanks, Gizmo doppelganger. We'd rather be the conservative bastion of gambling and drinking than be paid off by whores."