I didn't think I would ever deign my blog to the level of the Jonas brothers, but after I read this awful article about the metrotrio titillating the new First Daughters Sasha and Malia, my choler was sufficiently dandered up enough to put pads to plastic and eke out a little treatise on these horrible teen idols. Now put on any David Cassidy song and I'll headbop with the rest of the front row fainters, and I have been known to steal an occasional N.K.O.T.B. listening sesh every few weeks. I am in no way against the teenage heartthrobs as an established/serious genre in popculture. BUT these curly-haired putti troubadors with their promise rings and glottal love anthems and their faces plastered on the page of every Tiger Beat (along with that dental hygienist's nightmare Miley Cyrus) and ambiguous 80's filtered fashion (srsly how many Wayfarer styles does Ray Ban make? Follow up question: how many scarves from H&M can one manchild actually sport in one week?)...allow me to say I'm NOT A FAN, JBROS. Look at the above picture. Kevin, "The Ugly One" in preteen circles, is trying to appear intellectual in that awful vest. And those sideburns! Then there's Joe in the middle with his typical Farah Fawcett mane and Tom Ford fashion sense. Then Nick on the right, who is a cross between Samantha Ronson and GnR's Slash.
Just give me MmmBop and leave me alone.