Sunday, January 4, 2009

50% De Agave

Why do none of America's finest rappers deign to rhyme "Patrón" with anything? For example, in Missy Elliot's "Touch It" featuring Busta Rhymes, the lyric goes:

You can hit it like a game of ping-pong/if you give me two shots of Patrón

and in the next line, she tries to rhyme the word with "home," which is a clever oblique rhyme when you're Emily Dickinson, but sad if you're a yo-yo diet, "progressive" rap artist.

Or let's look at Bubba Sparxxx's wonderful "Ms. New Booty (feat. the Ying Yang Twins)" version:

"Sippin' on Patron (glumb glumb glumb)/Shorty in a thong (woah woah woah)"

Yung Joc has the cojones to actually get the rhyme right in his eponymous song "Patrón":

"This ballers zone/J’s on my feet/Im on dat Patron/so get like me

But unfortunately, "feet" and "me" still are only an oblique, kind of lame rhyme. Is it me, or does "MC" these days stand for "Major Contriver?"


maximillion pegasorus said...

Objection, You never hate on Missy Misdemeanor E, never. Not even on some remix of a remix of a wack busta song.

laughingjulia said...

I definitely would have to agree with Max.