Wednesday, March 18, 2009


After a long hiatus from the blog, I have decided to return in a big way...with Siamese Crocodile Twins. Why did I stop? Sometimes the level of inanity to which I routinely ascend scares me. I panicked on February 11th after the beef jerky panties post, not wanting to become yet another posterchild of the Look-At-Me generation obsessed with sniffing out insipid internet truffles.

But then last night I had a revelation. I was looking at Gwyneth Paltrow's celebrity blog, GOOP, and I realized that not only do I hate Gwyneth Paltrow for being a beautiful film actress with fruit children and a rockstar hubby to boot, but I also hate everything her blog stands for...those verbal icons...her director friends...etc. I looked around, and I was alone in the room. There was not a single person I could tell about Gwyneth Paltrow's blogging atrocity, and suddenly I became very afraid. My soap box was floating somewhere a million miles away. "I could send out a mass text," I thought, "But then I would be branded as a psycho...where could I funnel my heavy-handed opinions so someone, someone, could read them? My thoughts must be read."

Then the blog, oh, the sweet sweet blog came back to me: my meglomaniacal stomping grounds, my personal piece of real estate on the world wide web where I can fell as many trees I want. Somebody's gotta hear eventually. Somebody. I am a part of the Look-At-Me generation whether I want to accept it or not.

And so I accept.

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